Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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