There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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