Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its not stalking. its research.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Randomize
