walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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