i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize