I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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