He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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