And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
