So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
