what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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