I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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