Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
