True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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