u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
