what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
