I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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