who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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