chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
