let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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