wanna go halves on a baby?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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