ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
