I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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