Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We left the knife in your bed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
