My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
