My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
