You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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