i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
