He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
