I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize