i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
