After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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