her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
