just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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