dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
