sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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