i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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