I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize