oh god the rape fog is back!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
