i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
