We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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