I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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