'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
