You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
