if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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