oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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