I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
