He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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