There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
