Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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