sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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