You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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