he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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