How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
