We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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