My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
