You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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