Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
