You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
