Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
