He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
