Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
