There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
