Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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