Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
