He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
