I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
